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Immerse.

If I could immerse myself in something right now…in these times when you are tired but you have pushed yourself so hard to do something that you cannot sleep. But your mind isn’t settling into the task that you set out to do, either.

These are moments I had words that could take me somewhere. On a trip. Escapism at its best. The future can wait while I dream with my eyes open.

I really don’t see what a few guilt-free trips of escapism can do to harm anyone. Sometimes it just rejuvenates. It reminds us that we are still in control. Warms our hearts, ignites our bones.

If you’re feeling out of place or sometimes, misplaced … lose yourself into something you can claim control of anytime… but it kindles the fire of hope in you. We have to face it, good or bad. Might as well do it with renewed energy. Hope is life. If words can turn the pages in your life, allow them to. Immerse yourself. Embrace the story. The nature of its occurrence hardly matters.

For me, its books. It words and conversations with people who make me think, smile and listen. Its moments sitting under the shade of a tree watching kids play. Talking to my parents and letting the steam off…bite bits of their wisdom (whether or not I can digest it, later) or crack family jokes with my sister. Sounds very gharelu. It’s called Homesickness.

For you it could be re-visiting your childhood with old photographs, swimming in the pond behind your house (if you’re one of those lucky few), meeting people who buzz you, long walks away from any immediate concern, a cup of tea under the streetlights at midnight, a long drive with strangers to Nandi Hills (I’ve covered that base, I ca say proudly. Though now we are friends) etc.

Just jump out that window. Don’t hold back. Rejuvenate before you wilt away.

Love always.

S

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What Interstellar has left me with.


Its 5AM and I’ve not slept for 42 hours straight. Design made sure of that. I didn’t eat for most of it. After the submissions, I couldn’t sleep or eat. Just spoke to my folks because that’s the onlt thing I could do. Sometimes you just push yourself in a certain direction that you don’t know is right or wrong. But you have to, anyway. Life. The decisions you made in the past tick to your present. And these, your future. So I decided to watch Interstellar shortly after wishing my friend her birthday (And a couple of Superwoman Videos and what-not)

At first I couldn’t understand. Was it a documentary. Is this supposed to be the 60’s. Hey there is a laptop! And a drone. What place is it. US had such a huge blight-crisis? When. I couldn’t piece it together right until the very end. In fact as it settle into me, I started begging, ‘Please don’t be fiction. Please don’t be fiction.’ 

There were scenes in the movie that made me stop breathing and mirror their expression. Not for a second I realized that hours had passed by. The entire concept of relativity has got my wiring screwed up. I can’t think straight anymore. Is our reality THAT mould-able. And multiple dimensions. And THEY are us.

I’m bleeding at the thought that such a masterpiece can never be created. While it ended I was asking, no crying, for a part 2. I want it. I want it to play. STAY. Hans Zimmer. Just how things perfectly get sewed together to create such a thing. I can’t stop wondering if people are trying to reach out to us from up above. The multiple dimensions. Forgive me here, but what we call God…is it just an inexplicably evolutioni-zed version of us, Humans. This is driving me crazy. How is one supposed to just move on from a situation like that? I only want this fuel. This energy that the movie has driven into me. How am I supposed to attend class tomorrow and do design. My entire life has changed. Nolan. They don’t praise you just like that, now, do they?

Love. Its infinite reach. Through spce-time-everything. Stronger than gravity. Omnipresent. Makes me think.

PS: I had decided NOT to be one in the crowd and didn’t watch the movie till today. What a fool I would have been if I had let this go. And there were times, initially, when I wanted to be an astronaut. Tough as it is. I know its the initial energy that pumps us into thinking we can be it all. Troubles me that this energy fades as we move on with the day and allow reality to take shape…or shape our mind. I want this to stay. Stay till I find something worth doing that it can power itself. My life will be about searching that. Good day.

Infinity and beyond.

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Raayu and Rains

So I’d been sitting all dull and flat in the room all day while it got cloudy outside. Whenever the two of us are in the room in the afternoons, we NAP. Its a thing. No alarm can wake us up, no appointment, nothing (unless we have class in the second half).

One of our friends Kamran who one day wants to design Aircrafts, was leaving Bengaluru today but we couldn’t catch up with him. I’m still beaming in the glory of having watched OK Kanmani iin Mantri Mall with my college friends (for the first time in three years, I know). I obviously went for Dulquer Salman and Nithya Menen …and Tamizh :)

It’s a very new-age kind of film. You can see traces of Alaipayuthey (live-in relationships were taboo-er then so they got eloped but these kids just oved in together and made merry) and some other typical romances but its the acting that made the movie worth the bucks and travel (all the way from Tumkur to Yeshwanthpur then a metro to the mall). Prakash Raj and Leela Samson were flawless. Samson reduced me to tears twice. What lovely characters. Reminds me of Amour (the French version of an Alzheimer Couple). Also, there was BV Doshi and Ahmedabad featured in the movie as Tara is an Architect. I actually cheered more for Doshi and Baoris of Adalaj than for the lead actors. Call me uncouth or whatever.

Whoever were the wardrobe ad set designer did a great job. The story-line was predictable, very-collywood-ish but isn’t that why most people watch it? An escape from reality. Where the person you meet in a station (across tracks) actually fall for you despite her disbelief in commitment. And since when did Architects have so much time to while away (being interns) ?

All said and done, I got what I wanted from the movie. I allowed it to entertain me with its songs and colours. 

So yeaaaahh. Back to today. Raayu and I woke up around six and realised half the evening was over and the room was growing smaller around us. To kick us further, there was a powercut, so we ended up wearing weird track-pants and wind-sheeters and walked out in slippers. We were met with puddles of muddy water, drizzling, glistening streets, cloudy skies with intermittent lightning, thunder and a plethora of people-sights-smells. We walked endlessly to this chips shop under a Peepal tree where you get the best potato chips that reminds me of home. Raayu had some tender coconut water…we went to the temple that stands small under the HUGE Peepal tree right where two random streets bifurcate. Its so majestic that its a landmark in itself. Then we walked back, stopped at a Departmental store…instragammed a video under the streetlight where we sang ‘I feel (so) good…Para-ra-ra-ra-ra!’ in unison and laughed at everyone who looked at us queerly…because we be so cool you can’t take it. We’re staunch Frances Ha (its a movie you need to watch if you haven’t already. Stars Greta Gerwig whom we love) lovers and run holding hands singing the background music on rainy streets!

By the time we came back, it was time for dinner (which absolutely sucked…perks of Hostels) and now we’re sitting on our beds unable to bring our legs on the bed with us because the lower part of the tracks are all muddy and soggy but who cares.

We just ate a piece of chocolate. And now for some lame-itude

God asked, ‘Define heave, Shreya and I will send you there.’

Shreya: Chocolate. #KBye

Love :)

PS: Walking in the rain for a long, long time with a best friend whose mind is synced with yours (Except some of my weirdness) and with whom you can laugh on everything is the most refreshing experience. This is something I’ll miss in one year.

Fear

988327_10150368219784945_1686796201_nMindfullness practioners say that Fear needs to be accepted and treated with kindness instead of treating it as a threat. Fear is not a three-headed serpent but the reaction of our mind to situtations in life. And yes, I know, a couple of them get balled up in our heads. Fear leads to unnecessary overthinking, procrastination and feelings that just bring us down. We don’t need that, do we?

So, just ACCEPT  the fear and NAME it. Know what it is. Sometimes when we can’t point what the problem is, its hard to deal with it. Diagnose your fear. And then sit with it. See how you can deal with it. Breathe deep and slow until you’re calm and treat your fear like a child. See how you can solve your problems and tame your mind to feel calm.

There’s always something we can do about things. The magnitude does not matter. Small steps that can lead to something better. 

There’s more to write but I have to squeeze in episodes of Friends and breakfast. Will get in touch, soon.

Love :)

Um.

So, by now, I have come to the point of realising I’ve changed. I just hope this is not my Im-an-artist-trying-to-experience-things-differently phase because I’m certainly not spending enough time with friends and work’s eating up the rest of it. Only one more year of college left. And the buzz is going away. Is everything okay? Is this called growing up? Is this become more reserved or am I inhibiting myself.
I hope it turns out all well, later.

Love.

Arrividerci

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Note To Self

If you’re not proud of what you’re doing.
Then stop.
And if you can’t…
Then ram yourself against whatever it is that’s not letting you be everything you CAN be.
Because, baby, no one’s going to push you everyday, but yourself.
Be your own Hero.
Do what you must, so you can be proud, happy and content or just dance to smooth jazz music. And think about it later.
But do something, you must.
Love.

Arrividerci

Help & Charity

Honestly speaking, whenever I help someone (if at all I’m I’m in a position to be helpful) I’ve noticed I do it regardless of the returns or consequences. And they are small things, really. Never help with the expectations of reciprocation. Because sometimes what you ask for may not be in their power to give or so they might think. Or maybe they just forget. Nobody owes you, Friend. You own Jo one. So help because you want to and because you’re human and for love.

Now, about Charity. Oprah Winfrey (even though she made TV Shows about the things she did…perhaps, to inspire others) said that you shouldn’t speak about the Charity you’ve done because then you’re just boasting and that kills the entire idea of being good. Starve the ego, fee the soul, remember?

Its not tough and I know its not a pressing issue. But trust me, there is a happiness that you attain when some one smiles because of you. That will give you sleep at night. Wishing you most and more on this Easter Sunday. Love.

Arrividerci

Everything You Need To Know About Love : The Emotion

If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue to draw the water to cook, wash, and drink. The river is immense, and it has the capacity to receive, embrace, and transform. When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited, and we suffer. We can’t accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings, and we demand that they change. But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore. We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others. We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform.

When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That’s why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness.

Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.
If our parents didn’t love and understand each other, how are we to know what love looks like? … The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness. Our parents may be able to leave us money, houses, and land, but they may not be happy people. If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all.

Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person.

The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person. You can’t offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Learn how to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create moments of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person.

[…]

If you have enough understanding and love, then every moment – whether it’s spent making breakfast, driving the car, watering the garden, or doing anything else in your day – can be a moment of joy.

This interrelatedness of self and other is manifested in the fourth element as well, equanimity, the Sanskrit word for which – upeksha– is also translated as “inclusiveness” and “nondiscrimination”:

In a deep relationship, there’s no longer a boundary between you and the other person. You are her and she is you. Your suffering is her suffering. Your understanding of your own suffering helps your loved one to suffer less. Suffering and happiness are no longer individual matters. What happens to your loved one happens to you. What happens to you happens to your loved one.

[…]

In true love, there’s no more separation or discrimination. His happiness is your happiness. Your suffering is his suffering. You can no longer say, “That’s your problem.”

Supplementing the four core elements are also the subsidiary elements oftrust and respect, the currency of love’s deep mutuality:

When you love someone, you have to have trust and confidence. Love without trust is not yet love. Of course, first you have to have trust, respect, and confidence in yourself. Trust that you have a good and compassionate nature. You are part of the universe; you are made of stars. When you look at your loved one, you see that he is also made of stars and carries eternity inside. Looking in this way, we naturally feel reverence. True love cannot be without trust and respect for oneself and for the other person.

To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love. To know how to love someone, we have to understand them. To understand, we need to listen.

[…]

When you love someone, you should have the capacity to bring relief and help him to suffer less. This is an art. If you don’t understand the roots of his suffering, you can’t help, just as a doctor can’t help heal your illness if she doesn’t know the cause. You need to understand the cause of your loved one’s suffering in order to help bring relief.

[…]

The more you understand, the more you love; the more you love, the more you understand. They are two sides of one reality. The mind of love and the mind of understanding are thsuffering.
Often, when we say, “I love you” we focus mostly on the idea of the “I” who is doing the loving and less on the quality of the love that’s being offered. This is because we are caught by the idea of self. We think we have a self. But there is no such thing as an individual separate self. A flower is made only of non-flower elements, such as chlorophyll, sunlight, and water. If we were to remove all the non-flower elements from the flower, there would be no flower left. A flower cannot be by herself alone. A flower can only inter-be with all of us… Humans are like this too. We can’t exist by ourselves alone. We can only inter-be. I am made only of non-me elements, such as the Earth, the sun, parents, and ancestors. In a relationship, if you can see the nature of inter being between you and the other person, you can see that his suffering is your own suffering, and your happiness is his own happiness. With this way of seeing, you speak and act differently. This in itself can relieve so much suffering

(Nhat Hanh)
Courtesy : Brainpickings.

Arrividerci

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Note To Self

If you’re not proud if what you’re doing.
Then stop.
And if you can’t…
Then ram yourself against whatever is not letting you be everything you CAN be.
Because, baby, no one’s going to push you everyday, but yourself.
Be your own Hero.
Do what you must, so you can be proud, happy and content or just dance to smooth jazz music. And think about it later.
But do something, you must.
Love.

Arrividerci