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14 Priceless Ross Mathews Quotes About Being Vulnerable, Working Hard, And Loving Yourself No Matter What

Shreya Sudesh:

This here ;)

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

Ross Mathews Facebook Page           Ross Mathews Facebook Page

1.

“If you want to succeed at any job, make yourself invaluable. Go the extra mile; make them never be able to imagine what life without you there would be like.”


2. 

“Love yourself, whatever makes you different, and use it to make you stand out. Mine is my voice and the fact that I’m gay: well, the fact that I’m flamboyantly gay.”


3. 

“When I was growing up I didn’t know what it meant to be a happy, successful grown-up gay person, and now I do. I feel like I’m setting an example for people everywhere.”


4.

“When you struggle with weight, it’s not an internal struggle… it’s literally an external struggle, and everyone sees it.”


5. 

“Not to be too preachy, but I would really recommend to people, if you get the chance, to trust yourselves to leap without a net, because that will…

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Nobody’s Left Out.

Sometimes, I feel like shutting the entire system down and hiding inside the blanket. Scrolling down the Facebook Homepage where feeds from all over the world await to amaze you. People announcing promotions and new jobs (some finally achieving dreams you once had); getting married to college (and in some cases school-sweethearts) while you cluck at their haste thinking, ‘Hey! How can you decide on life partners without seeing the world?,’. Unfortunately, we are judging them, unknowingly. What do we know about them? Maybe they’ve seen more of the world than we can imagine? And what’s wrong if they believe in their bond? Sometimes we make our worldly mind get the better of us.

Back to Feeds, the most interesting of them all are the Holidaying-Partying-Chilling pictures in exotic destinations. While some have sweet (and wealthy) parents; benefactors and some, have earned it. Its really nice (yeah, yeah )seeing the world from their perspective until you reach a concentrated-syrup point where you can’t take anymore and despair at your not having the time/resources and company to visit those places. Fret no, your time shall come. Or at least that’s what I say to myself to hold onto the one half of my sanity I’ve kept loose. One half is padlocked in a safety cell, away from human contact. Because sometimes this world is too much for me and I can’t lose it all at one go, now, can I? I know I’m on the path to a more peaceful life but it takes time and I’d like to be a little careful.

Then comes the New Ventures. Do you remember the scene in Interstellar where the Grandpa and Coop are sitting the night before he leaves for the Cosmos? Grandpa says that when he was young, something was invented or discovered everyday and all the 6 billion people wanted it. And kaboom. Live within your means is a phrase limited only to BPL families? Can’t we follow suit? Sustainability is not : using earthenware and recycling paper (once in a blue moon).

ANYWAY, point being : everyone is starting something of their own regardless of whether they can sustain that venture or not. I know I’m being pessimistic BUT it’s that little creature in me that’s watching movies instead of learning how to use Photoshop that feeds such thoughts in my head.

We humans, we know it all. What makes us, what breaks us. And yet, we falter and blame it on our nature. Being jealous (I’m stating it plainly) is okay. But are we doing something to reach there? Not everyone has people who can give them a lift every now and then. But we can reach there ON OUR OWN. It just takes effort, repeated effort and determination to get there. Ans we can do it. I see all these people clearing CAT and entering dream B-Schools/ clearing IAS entrances and be who they want to be.

BUT WHAT IF YOU’RE STILL CONFUSED AND DON’T WANT TO ENTER THE WRONG FIELD AND REGRET AFTER A DECADE?

There goes the alarm. I don’t mind giving it my best shot as long as I know that’s what I want. But what if I’m unsure? Some people just KNOW what they want from life. They work and achieve it. What about the people who are still figuring it out? The dreamers who still are glued to The Science of Sleep and Amelie. Who rant on social media (like this) but spend the rest of the day playing SIMS? You’ll call it lazy. And I accept it. But you know what it really  is?

FEAR. Fear of choosing the wrong path again. You’ve made that mistake before and you’re living by it. And you want no more of it. So you’re just waiting for that right hour (which may or may not come) or inspiration (which is always on its way). But you’re certain that when that moment arrives, you’ll be ready to do whatever it takes to realise your dreams. You have an abstract idea but its not enough to fuel your engines. So you’re soul searching. Sometimes inside, sometimes out. Through smoke, through spirit , through travel, through words and voids.

And one day you’ll arrive at it. And you’ll know happiness.

Realists find all this delusional. But ask yourself. Are you getting everything you want from life? 

No aptitude session/ counselling can get you the answer. Even if there is something you love. The society (we just love this blame-game) will have a hundred opinions about it. The Auntys, the elder cousins and even, the kids. And its easy to say that you don’t care. But the people you care for, care about them. And you can’t help it. Life is not about severing ties, now? And I know ignoring is the option but its not easy if you’re trying to be humble as well.

Bills and expectations make us force us to do whatever we can to satiate them. But that does not mean we forget the fire. Light it. Keep it going even when you’re stumbling into the wrong path. It will show you your way out of the maze when time comes. Wait for it. And know that you can do it. Just stay strong. I’m trying my best here. As a dreamer, while I can.

Share your views. Help one another. 

So while the others be awesome and share it with you. Just try to be as happy and accepting as you can. Your time will come :)

Love Always,

S

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Where is That Soulmate?

We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.
―Andrew Boyd

Books and books. Movies and more movies.

Articles and magazines. And nowadays, more popularly, Thought Catalog ; LifeHack, BuzzFeed and Cosmopolitan … those are the places we try to find true love in.

10 Ways To Know He/She’s the One

20 Things To Decide Whom To Marry

What bullshit. Are you kidding me? Are you really buying all that? Its good to read them and fill our delusion-jar sometimes but using it as a crutch to judge those whom we may consider as potential candidates (now, that’s what its all become). That’s why this post stood out of the spectrum of love-related garbage.

Why do we have to literally put ourselves on the street searching for love? Isn’t there plenty around us, in other different forms, anyway? No, I’m not the self-righteous, conservative kind. Actually, I don’t want to believe in tags. I’m not saying I’m completely off that grid, either. We are all on the way to Change. So stop EXPECTING things.

Just live your life, let things happen to you. This is not an insurance plan for you to summarize it date by date or log it in a diary. You just need to breathe and clean your window. And see how things can go. Don’t lose your originality and spirit in life. Do what you like. Be who you are. Aim high and get those dreams. Don’t side-track the essential things waiting for  the right one. Mr. Darcy is sadly (I know) not going to show up in the next dinner party you are invited to. Nor is the perfect girl (I really don’t know who men idealize as life partners) gonna magically appear in the seat next to you at the movies. So stop looking, start living. And most importantly… don’t let people, stereotypes, societies, castes and religions (in our country, at least) inhibit you from anything, ever. They exist to divide. And we are all One, above everything else. Breathe.

Love,

S

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Immerse.

If I could immerse myself in something right now…in these times when you are tired but you have pushed yourself so hard to do something that you cannot sleep. But your mind isn’t settling into the task that you set out to do, either.

These are moments I had words that could take me somewhere. On a trip. Escapism at its best. The future can wait while I dream with my eyes open.

I really don’t see what a few guilt-free trips of escapism can do to harm anyone. Sometimes it just rejuvenates. It reminds us that we are still in control. Warms our hearts, ignites our bones.

If you’re feeling out of place or sometimes, misplaced … lose yourself into something you can claim control of anytime… but it kindles the fire of hope in you. We have to face it, good or bad. Might as well do it with renewed energy. Hope is life. If words can turn the pages in your life, allow them to. Immerse yourself. Embrace the story. The nature of its occurrence hardly matters.

For me, its books. It words and conversations with people who make me think, smile and listen. Its moments sitting under the shade of a tree watching kids play. Talking to my parents and letting the steam off…bite bits of their wisdom (whether or not I can digest it, later) or crack family jokes with my sister. Sounds very gharelu. It’s called Homesickness.

For you it could be re-visiting your childhood with old photographs, swimming in the pond behind your house (if you’re one of those lucky few), meeting people who buzz you, long walks away from any immediate concern, a cup of tea under the streetlights at midnight, a long drive with strangers to Nandi Hills (I’ve covered that base, I ca say proudly. Though now we are friends) etc.

Just jump out that window. Don’t hold back. Rejuvenate before you wilt away.

Love always.

S

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What Interstellar has left me with.


Its 5AM and I’ve not slept for 42 hours straight. Design made sure of that. I didn’t eat for most of it. After the submissions, I couldn’t sleep or eat. Just spoke to my folks because that’s the onlt thing I could do. Sometimes you just push yourself in a certain direction that you don’t know is right or wrong. But you have to, anyway. Life. The decisions you made in the past tick to your present. And these, your future. So I decided to watch Interstellar shortly after wishing my friend her birthday (And a couple of Superwoman Videos and what-not)

At first I couldn’t understand. Was it a documentary. Is this supposed to be the 60’s. Hey there is a laptop! And a drone. What place is it. US had such a huge blight-crisis? When. I couldn’t piece it together right until the very end. In fact as it settle into me, I started begging, ‘Please don’t be fiction. Please don’t be fiction.’ 

There were scenes in the movie that made me stop breathing and mirror their expression. Not for a second I realized that hours had passed by. The entire concept of relativity has got my wiring screwed up. I can’t think straight anymore. Is our reality THAT mould-able. And multiple dimensions. And THEY are us.

I’m bleeding at the thought that such a masterpiece can never be created. While it ended I was asking, no crying, for a part 2. I want it. I want it to play. STAY. Hans Zimmer. Just how things perfectly get sewed together to create such a thing. I can’t stop wondering if people are trying to reach out to us from up above. The multiple dimensions. Forgive me here, but what we call God…is it just an inexplicably evolutioni-zed version of us, Humans. This is driving me crazy. How is one supposed to just move on from a situation like that? I only want this fuel. This energy that the movie has driven into me. How am I supposed to attend class tomorrow and do design. My entire life has changed. Nolan. They don’t praise you just like that, now, do they?

Love. Its infinite reach. Through spce-time-everything. Stronger than gravity. Omnipresent. Makes me think.

PS: I had decided NOT to be one in the crowd and didn’t watch the movie till today. What a fool I would have been if I had let this go. And there were times, initially, when I wanted to be an astronaut. Tough as it is. I know its the initial energy that pumps us into thinking we can be it all. Troubles me that this energy fades as we move on with the day and allow reality to take shape…or shape our mind. I want this to stay. Stay till I find something worth doing that it can power itself. My life will be about searching that. Good day.

Infinity and beyond.

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Raayu and Rains

So I’d been sitting all dull and flat in the room all day while it got cloudy outside. Whenever the two of us are in the room in the afternoons, we NAP. Its a thing. No alarm can wake us up, no appointment, nothing (unless we have class in the second half).

One of our friends Kamran who one day wants to design Aircrafts, was leaving Bengaluru today but we couldn’t catch up with him. I’m still beaming in the glory of having watched OK Kanmani iin Mantri Mall with my college friends (for the first time in three years, I know). I obviously went for Dulquer Salman and Nithya Menen …and Tamizh :)

It’s a very new-age kind of film. You can see traces of Alaipayuthey (live-in relationships were taboo-er then so they got eloped but these kids just oved in together and made merry) and some other typical romances but its the acting that made the movie worth the bucks and travel (all the way from Tumkur to Yeshwanthpur then a metro to the mall). Prakash Raj and Leela Samson were flawless. Samson reduced me to tears twice. What lovely characters. Reminds me of Amour (the French version of an Alzheimer Couple). Also, there was BV Doshi and Ahmedabad featured in the movie as Tara is an Architect. I actually cheered more for Doshi and Baoris of Adalaj than for the lead actors. Call me uncouth or whatever.

Whoever were the wardrobe ad set designer did a great job. The story-line was predictable, very-collywood-ish but isn’t that why most people watch it? An escape from reality. Where the person you meet in a station (across tracks) actually fall for you despite her disbelief in commitment. And since when did Architects have so much time to while away (being interns) ?

All said and done, I got what I wanted from the movie. I allowed it to entertain me with its songs and colours. 

So yeaaaahh. Back to today. Raayu and I woke up around six and realised half the evening was over and the room was growing smaller around us. To kick us further, there was a powercut, so we ended up wearing weird track-pants and wind-sheeters and walked out in slippers. We were met with puddles of muddy water, drizzling, glistening streets, cloudy skies with intermittent lightning, thunder and a plethora of people-sights-smells. We walked endlessly to this chips shop under a Peepal tree where you get the best potato chips that reminds me of home. Raayu had some tender coconut water…we went to the temple that stands small under the HUGE Peepal tree right where two random streets bifurcate. Its so majestic that its a landmark in itself. Then we walked back, stopped at a Departmental store…instragammed a video under the streetlight where we sang ‘I feel (so) good…Para-ra-ra-ra-ra!’ in unison and laughed at everyone who looked at us queerly…because we be so cool you can’t take it. We’re staunch Frances Ha (its a movie you need to watch if you haven’t already. Stars Greta Gerwig whom we love) lovers and run holding hands singing the background music on rainy streets!

By the time we came back, it was time for dinner (which absolutely sucked…perks of Hostels) and now we’re sitting on our beds unable to bring our legs on the bed with us because the lower part of the tracks are all muddy and soggy but who cares.

We just ate a piece of chocolate. And now for some lame-itude

God asked, ‘Define heave, Shreya and I will send you there.’

Shreya: Chocolate. #KBye

Love :)

PS: Walking in the rain for a long, long time with a best friend whose mind is synced with yours (Except some of my weirdness) and with whom you can laugh on everything is the most refreshing experience. This is something I’ll miss in one year.

Fear

988327_10150368219784945_1686796201_nMindfullness practioners say that Fear needs to be accepted and treated with kindness instead of treating it as a threat. Fear is not a three-headed serpent but the reaction of our mind to situtations in life. And yes, I know, a couple of them get balled up in our heads. Fear leads to unnecessary overthinking, procrastination and feelings that just bring us down. We don’t need that, do we?

So, just ACCEPT  the fear and NAME it. Know what it is. Sometimes when we can’t point what the problem is, its hard to deal with it. Diagnose your fear. And then sit with it. See how you can deal with it. Breathe deep and slow until you’re calm and treat your fear like a child. See how you can solve your problems and tame your mind to feel calm.

There’s always something we can do about things. The magnitude does not matter. Small steps that can lead to something better. 

There’s more to write but I have to squeeze in episodes of Friends and breakfast. Will get in touch, soon.

Love :)