One Mind, Many Dreams.

Warning : Reading this may upset people I know personally and who may have said things that I quote so please be kind and use discretion. I love you all, anyway.

I know people, like my best-friend from school, P who did his engineering while I did Architecture – he got a job like everyone else while I still did Architecture because its a longer course (and is still not over – for those who think I’m chilling in Chennai). He just knows he wants to work for the forces. He left his corporate job and is preparing for SSB. I recently (read, July) had the opportunity to act in a Short Play (Short + Sweet, Chennai, 2016 ) and this was, by chance – because I went against my usual habit of ignoring messages and actually replied to a friend who was the director of the play.  Okay, coming to the point, I got a chance to meet other actors, writers and directors. To us, the lay-folk who only enjoy cinema and read gossip blurbs or the Times of India – actors just happen to be and earn big bucks and splurge it on controversies that we can use as ice-breakers at work. But the truth is, getting a job as an actor for a somebody is really tough in a country where every third person wants to be one (Okay, you knew this). I think you can become a politician, more easily, if you’re erudite and tactical enough. SO – I met all these people who just KNOW that they want to be an actor – regardless of where they are right now – they’ve left jobs, homes and families for this. Every text, every expression, every meeting – they only talk about their passion and I’m left aghast. Like, ‘sapne mein aaya kya tere?” (did it occur to you in a dream?). It probably did.

Such crystal dreams don’t occur to me. I’m usually in morbid situations in dreams- running around with people I may/may not know in strange set-ups that may/may not exist.

Every month – I have a new ambition. I get influenced by movies, books, people, magazine articles and of course, social media. Its not easy. They say – trust in the magic of beginnings. I do – but then it fizzles out. And something new takes it place. Its not easy – when you’re pursuing a degree; want independence; super-fast WiFi; good food; social life; a job which feels like a holiday; security – it just doesn’t all materialize in one night on a platter – much like how we’d like it to. Some people just get stuck in the grind of everyday mundane jobs to support themselves and a family. Or run behind their passion – a train they may/may not catch. Or live in the delusion: ‘Aayega – Don aayega”.

Don gaya tel lene.

No parent/well-wisher/aunty/uncle-ji who owns a shop/dhobi-wallah/already-established-friend/Data-scientist-cousin-in-the-US  likes it when you tell them you want to become a Screen-writer or Casting Director – Art Manager – Art Director – Critic – Media Producer – Shift to another city – Get a flat- Buy a dog- etc:-

“Does it even pay well? What – I’ve never heard of it. Its just tricks – to scam your generation into doing odd-jobs no one else wants to do. Are you crazy? Interns are unpaid labor – even the dhobiwallah knows that. Pune? Tomorrow you’ll go to New York also. Pehle na you lose weight and leave that Facebook wagera. Some Hunky Dory became a screenwriter – doesn’t mean ki you’ll become one, too. Please keep your room clean, first. And what about the five years you spent cutting cardboard to become an Architect (or whatever you studied)? Who’ll pay for rent? Accha, leave all this blogging about movies which some other person made and share serious views on your blog. Get married before 25 – movie mein dekha na – that actor also said that only. Kya? How many degrees do you want? PINK dekha PINK? Yahi hota hai  outside world mein – go, go get your flat ab. Accha jao – sab karlo – Director bhi ban jao. Artist bhi ban jao. Go ask your Michel Gondry’s mother if he spoke to her in this tone, ever. Remember Ankita? She’s working in that advertising company – she’s getting married in November. You’re still sending in CV’s to these funny companies. What do you want to do with the rest of your existence? Ja, main nai poochti.

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You got my point. And its all in our best interest. No parent wants their kid lying broke in some dingy corner smoking cheap cigarettes regretting why they didn’t take up that Accenture wala job. Neither do they want you as an added attachment to the house (unless of course you’re a boy, in our patriarchal country). And I agree with them. This is not a rant as much as it looks like one.

Its a dilemma that I realized, more recently, a lot of us are facing but because we want to maintain the status-quo of being happy – we don’t share it. We just write poetry because its a hobby. We don’t tell people that it gives us more pleasure doing than data-entry because poetry doesn’t pay – unless of course you write something that goes viral on scoopwhoop. No one writes Facebook statuses about how they fought with someone who thinks their dreams are worth nothing. No one tells you how much it hurts to lose a job because you could’t focus on your work. No one tells you how bloody scared they are about life, itself. We blame our social status, lack of money, parental pressure, etc – and continue doing what we do best – nothing.

But all that is when you have some tinkering clue about what you really want to be. Thomas Zacharias (okay, I not-secretly have a crush on him and he Instagrams as @cheftzac) knew he wanted to be a Chef. Though it looks like he’s always smiling as he grills salmons and posts pictures about inspiring local cuisine – it took him a hell load of effort to become the Executive Chef of the Bombay Canteen (believe it or not, one of the many reasons for me to want to work in Pune is so that I can go to Mumbai to see this place designed by a firm called The Busride – where I will work, one day.). A snippet of that effort (posted with permission aka DM that he may/may not read, on Instagram) :

On the contrary, another person I got introduced to, thanks to all the weird research I do – is Shanoo Sharma (@shanoozeing on twitter) who is the Casting Head at YRF Films. And she didn’t just land up this job in one year or even two. She has the experience of working as a hair-stylist, bartender, waitress, singer – and pretty much everything she wanted to try. She has no degree to her name and at one (or many) point was tagged by well-wishers as someone who could not stay in one job for more than a year. And look where all that has lead her to. She now gives actors their breaks. She calls her job a holiday and has the authority to work from where she wants, when she wants. She does a job she’s obsessed with and this didn’t occur to her in a dream. She is India’s top Casting Director. Ranveer Singh, Parneeti Chopra, Arjun Kapoor, Alia Bhatt – and many more happened because she thought they could happen. And her story which I read is here .

Closer home, in Chennai, someone I actually know did something out of his dreams. Shyam Renganathan just gave his first TEDx talk in VIT, Vellore – and why? Because he didn’t just sit around moping (okay maybe he may have done that at one point) – when he believed that he could be funny. He didn’t want that engineering life – he stood against joining a B.E course and went ahead to do what he loves doing – he’s now a Standup Comic, RJ, Web Series (Black Sheep)  Actor and I don’t know what more he will do. It was definitely not easy – or fun, when he decided to take a step back and change course. But he made it. Its not an easy world for dreamers but then again, people make it.

And these are just some examples that I’ve stumbled upon. Okay, let’s take Sushant Singh Rajput – for those who are living under a rock / From another country  – he’s a Bollywood actor who recently acted as M.S Dhoni in his biopic. Besides that, he has starred as Byomkesh Bakshi and as a lead character in Kai Po Che, the movie based on Chetan Bhagat’s Three Mistakes of My Life. He didn’t become an actor bas aise hi kyunki sapna aaya. He was first an AIEEE Topper with AIR 7 – then a student in DTU – a dancer in Shiamak Davar’s Dance troupe – a theatre artist with Ekjute – an actor in Hindi Serials – and finally, an actor. This journey was a long and strenuous one. I haven’t interviewed him but I sure as hell know that he didn’t know he’ll be acting as M.S Dhoni in the year 2016 – when he was giving his AIEEE. Not everyone knows for sure. And you know what, its okay.

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You can thank me later.

I say this to myself whenever I get a new idea – that’s daunting – that makes me look jittery and unsure – which I agree I am. But what’s wrong in that? I’m afraid that I don’t know. But at least, I accept that I don’t know and I’m trying to know. I’m giving my everything – I’m working hard and looking at prospects- I’m applying to places which resonate my beliefs, somewhat. I’m looking at originality in a field dominated by trends and popularity.

But that doesn’t stop me at marveling what Michel Gondry does with a few colours, a paper and a video camera. It doesn’t stop me from reading scripts written by Woody Allen and Rebecca Miller. It doesn’t stop me from thinking what Greta Gerwig thought before signing up for Frances Ha. It doesn’t stop me from watching Wes Anderson movies back-to-back noting down things I like – joining FTII forums and discussing Bollywood – watching Anurag Kashyap’s speeches on Film-making – noting down email addresses of Production houses I would like to intern with – sending my CV to Art Management firms just to see if I fit the bill. I’m trying. I don’t know if its right – I don’t know if job security is the secret to success. I don’t know if I’ll ever end up in Mumbai writing films like Juhi Chaturvedi and Gauri Shinde. I also remember promising my best friend, Sarkar, that we’d write scripts for Korean Drama together, when we were in college. Maybe we should have done that.

Its all a bit unsettling when you see your friends going to pursue their Masters in the US, UK and Singapore – or when they post “FMS / IIM – Life be like” pictures on instagram – and you’re still here sitting before a screen.

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Being afraid is normal and so is stalking celebrities on Instagram. Reading Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (by Mindy Kaling) instead of Lean-In or Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (or whatever its called) – is absolutely OKAY. Crushing on celebrity chefs who don’t even know you exist is OKAY. Reading never-ending tumblr posts on inspiration is OKAY – as long as you don’t lose yourself in another person’s world and come back to your own to build yourself up. You’re not alone. You never will be. Talk to people and get to know things instead of being shy and apprehensive. Throw yourself at opportunities and learn things that can’t be learnt on lifehack or buzzfeed. Get out of your shell and give yourself a chance to feel vulnerable.

It doesn’t matter where we are as long as we know we want to try harder and make something out of this opportunity we call life.

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Khwaaish

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The other day I was banging my head against the wall wondering what my dream really is? Is there like, one major dream and then sub-dreams or what?
And I read this from an old blog post, today.

I think I want to intern at various design places…no matter what they design, do theatre, video-log, do a TLC show where I show people places they need to get going to. Visit all the places we stayed in when I was a kid.

Maybe this is a clue. Maybe I should believe in the Universe or listen to the people who love me and step-up my professional game.
Well let’s see. Let’s get done with Thesis, first.

Arrivederci

For Bigger Things – Women’s Day

There are people who lose and then there are sour losers. I am not proud of the fact that I belonged to the second category. Always running into new opportunities, making mistakes and moping about it, etcetera. Sometimes I would win and celebrate like there was no tomorrow and if I ever happened to lose I would be a pile of misery sobbing in a corner. Such was the hyperactivity my Mother had to tolerate.

She would always sit next to me, look at my tear-stained face and say, ‘Don’t worry about this one. You’re made for better things,’ and smile.

I never understood what she meant then. I’d always think she was too optimistic for reality. But as life moved on and I actually landed up in good places I realized that if I hadn’t lost that day I’d never tried for the position I succeeded in. Sometimes things just happen (or don’t happen) for a reason. Life is always throwing options at y. Always trust that what you choose is the best. And if you falter remember that you’re probably made for better things and search for enough courage to stand up and walk towards a better horizon. Do not mistake this as escapism because whole-hearted effort has been put in the fruition of a task.

On this woman’s day I’d like to congratulate the spirit of the woman – the woman who creates; who’s asked to adjust because “the world is like this only”; who’s feminism is laughed upon or misunderstood; who’s sensuality is looked down upon as cheap; who’s behavior is judged subjectively; who’s biology is help up against her existence; who’s security depends upon the other gender; who’s freedom is localized; who’s love is taken for granted and who can rule the world if she sets her mind on it.

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Feminism is not a placard you hold in a rally against the people. Its a message- a way of life that needs to be adopted to bridge the gaps (that we all know, exist) be it financially or otherwise; to get out of stereotypical treatment; to face perverts/abusers with the confidence that they should fear their prey; to be able to express without worrying about hurting the male ego; fighting against the chains women have gotten themselves bound into and alas, its not a race. Its not a plea. Its a mindful decision that a person takes towards equality in a broad and holistic sense.

Happy Women’s Day because somebody feels its important to make us feel loved and remind us of our importance when actually it should be a living-breathing-everyday-realization in every home, workplace, public area, road, street and room.

And you cannot expect everyone to change overnight- you need to live by this principle yourself. Stop expecting people to assist you when you can do it yourself. Listen to yourself, use your discretion, analyse what you do. RESPECT YOURSELF AND THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU sans judgement. Give it your best – work with passion. And if you’re unhappy wherever you are- believe that there is a way out and there is a better place.

Dear woman, girl and human reading this: Opportunities come and go but one must give it a try (fairly) and the objective is to have tried and worked for your dream – if it works out, splendid and if it doesn’t, always remember you’re made for better things in life.

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Nobody’s Left Out.

Sometimes, I feel like shutting the entire system down and hiding inside the blanket. Scrolling down the Facebook Homepage where feeds from all over the world await to amaze you. People announcing promotions and new jobs (some finally achieving dreams you once had); getting married to college (and in some cases school-sweethearts) while you cluck at their haste thinking, ‘Hey! How can you decide on life partners without seeing the world?,’. Unfortunately, we are judging them, unknowingly. What do we know about them? Maybe they’ve seen more of the world than we can imagine? And what’s wrong if they believe in their bond? Sometimes we make our worldly mind get the better of us.

Back to Feeds, the most interesting of them all are the Holidaying-Partying-Chilling pictures in exotic destinations. While some have sweet (and wealthy) parents; benefactors and some, have earned it. Its really nice (yeah, yeah )seeing the world from their perspective until you reach a concentrated-syrup point where you can’t take anymore and despair at your not having the time/resources and company to visit those places. Fret no, your time shall come. Or at least that’s what I say to myself to hold onto the one half of my sanity I’ve kept loose. One half is padlocked in a safety cell, away from human contact. Because sometimes this world is too much for me and I can’t lose it all at one go, now, can I? I know I’m on the path to a more peaceful life but it takes time and I’d like to be a little careful.

Then comes the New Ventures. Do you remember the scene in Interstellar where the Grandpa and Coop are sitting the night before he leaves for the Cosmos? Grandpa says that when he was young, something was invented or discovered everyday and all the 6 billion people wanted it. And kaboom. Live within your means is a phrase limited only to BPL families? Can’t we follow suit? Sustainability is not : using earthenware and recycling paper (once in a blue moon).

ANYWAY, point being : everyone is starting something of their own regardless of whether they can sustain that venture or not. I know I’m being pessimistic BUT it’s that little creature in me that’s watching movies instead of learning how to use Photoshop that feeds such thoughts in my head.

We humans, we know it all. What makes us, what breaks us. And yet, we falter and blame it on our nature. Being jealous (I’m stating it plainly) is okay. But are we doing something to reach there? Not everyone has people who can give them a lift every now and then. But we can reach there ON OUR OWN. It just takes effort, repeated effort and determination to get there. Ans we can do it. I see all these people clearing CAT and entering dream B-Schools/ clearing IAS entrances and be who they want to be.

BUT WHAT IF YOU’RE STILL CONFUSED AND DON’T WANT TO ENTER THE WRONG FIELD AND REGRET AFTER A DECADE?

There goes the alarm. I don’t mind giving it my best shot as long as I know that’s what I want. But what if I’m unsure? Some people just KNOW what they want from life. They work and achieve it. What about the people who are still figuring it out? The dreamers who still are glued to The Science of Sleep and Amelie. Who rant on social media (like this) but spend the rest of the day playing SIMS? You’ll call it lazy. And I accept it. But you know what it really  is?

FEAR. Fear of choosing the wrong path again. You’ve made that mistake before and you’re living by it. And you want no more of it. So you’re just waiting for that right hour (which may or may not come) or inspiration (which is always on its way). But you’re certain that when that moment arrives, you’ll be ready to do whatever it takes to realise your dreams. You have an abstract idea but its not enough to fuel your engines. So you’re soul searching. Sometimes inside, sometimes out. Through smoke, through spirit , through travel, through words and voids.

And one day you’ll arrive at it. And you’ll know happiness.

Realists find all this delusional. But ask yourself. Are you getting everything you want from life? 

No aptitude session/ counselling can get you the answer. Even if there is something you love. The society (we just love this blame-game) will have a hundred opinions about it. The Auntys, the elder cousins and even, the kids. And its easy to say that you don’t care. But the people you care for, care about them. And you can’t help it. Life is not about severing ties, now? And I know ignoring is the option but its not easy if you’re trying to be humble as well.

Bills and expectations make us force us to do whatever we can to satiate them. But that does not mean we forget the fire. Light it. Keep it going even when you’re stumbling into the wrong path. It will show you your way out of the maze when time comes. Wait for it. And know that you can do it. Just stay strong. I’m trying my best here. As a dreamer, while I can.

Share your views. Help one another. 

So while the others be awesome and share it with you. Just try to be as happy and accepting as you can. Your time will come 🙂

Love Always,

S

Immerse.

If I could immerse myself in something right now…in these times when you are tired but you have pushed yourself so hard to do something that you cannot sleep. But your mind isn’t settling into the task that you set out to do, either.

These are moments I had words that could take me somewhere. On a trip. Escapism at its best. The future can wait while I dream with my eyes open.

I really don’t see what a few guilt-free trips of escapism can do to harm anyone. Sometimes it just rejuvenates. It reminds us that we are still in control. Warms our hearts, ignites our bones.

If you’re feeling out of place or sometimes, misplaced … lose yourself into something you can claim control of anytime… but it kindles the fire of hope in you. We have to face it, good or bad. Might as well do it with renewed energy. Hope is life. If words can turn the pages in your life, allow them to. Immerse yourself. Embrace the story. The nature of its occurrence hardly matters.

For me, its books. It words and conversations with people who make me think, smile and listen. Its moments sitting under the shade of a tree watching kids play. Talking to my parents and letting the steam off…bite bits of their wisdom (whether or not I can digest it, later) or crack family jokes with my sister. Sounds very gharelu. It’s called Homesickness.

For you it could be re-visiting your childhood with old photographs, swimming in the pond behind your house (if you’re one of those lucky few), meeting people who buzz you, long walks away from any immediate concern, a cup of tea under the streetlights at midnight, a long drive with strangers to Nandi Hills (I’ve covered that base, I ca say proudly. Though now we are friends) etc.

Just jump out that window. Don’t hold back. Rejuvenate before you wilt away.

Love always.

S

Beautiful Sleep

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March 16, 1940


Like a river flows so surely to the sea darling so it goes some things are meant to be

Allowing are hopes, cares and worries to flow into our dreams as we let go of everything we hold onto, so dearly, and go with the ebb and flow along with slumber.

An unknown adventure, a welcome friend…sleep, by all means, is a gift with no pretend.

Sleep tight.

Homesick


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I don’t want love, sympathy, Disneyland or Vero Moda tops. I don’t want to drive a Bentley or sip lattes at Starbucks. Right now, I want to go home. This is what I need.

Sometimes you enter the wrong frame on a wall and you can’t help but peek into others. A comment by a Senior Architect Satyaprakash on my sketch of the Kingdom of Poseidon has got me thinking about it…
“Are you peeking into the Kingdom of Poseidon? Create your own 🙂 “

When you’re stuck outside your dream, you feel lost even if the compass is within your grasp.

Its time to get the clockworks to function again, grease them up for the smooth action. Time to put away useless stuff and look for the memories and objectives that got lost in the ratrace to nothingness.

Do what you’re passionate about. Do it the way you like. And see what happens. We are all duty bound. But we need to see the bigger picture. Cant be stuck up in the same reel.

Forgive yourself, dear one. Start with that. Reconcile your feelings with your actions. Get real.

Make it happen 🙂

Arrividerci  :’)

Live Life, Our Style ;)

ImageMaybe its the fact that I’ve turned 18 or I have all these crazy friends who party all night in different clubs and pubs all over Bangalore at Dawn Thomas parties…or maybe because that’s what my generation enjoys besides watching Big Bang Theory, fighting over football clubs, grazing at Malls, whatsapping each other to death, befriending new people at social networking sites no matter how bizarre they are or staying up at 4:00 AM under the pretext of assignments when they are actually chilling with friends… or biking,photography, experimenting with new dishes, dating random people, travelling short distances and checking in at Foursquare with special cheats, taking weird pics and Instagramming them…or the basic… listen to music and react as though you are at the MSG Arena at a HUGE-O-WAR concert  playing the best House or Trance !

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We 1990’s kids are geniuses at this stuff. You may not find any of the above productive at all. Well, in our defense,with a sarcastic sneer,there is a lot of stress we deal with…managing expenditures, tackling the erroneous friends’ atmosphere, travelling between college and home, living away from our sanctuary, adjusting to the choices our parents make for us or even, themselves…

We get inspired by catchy music and actors in flashy movies. We love living a free-willed life! Like a new wave generation of The Hippie sans the drugs, thank you. We may not wear weird costumes with dangling flowers or run away from home and live in the trunks of a car. No way. We do things in our own way.

We BALANCE. We do all our crazy,wacky and tacky shit and then attend college the next morning like regular people. W e ace exams and then party. We have dreams. Big Ones. Of reaching the pinnacle of success in our careers. And we work towards it.Image

The only difference is, we don not let THAT sabotage our life. LIFE…Where we dream, socialize , experiment, laugh, love, smile, cry, get stronger, experience and mad.

We do HUGE things without making too much noise except on our facebook and twitter pages. We break records, create new ones. We think before we act. We take it slow in a chilled out manner instead of torching buses and carts. We hold candles and paint walls. We believe in bring about a difference without splitting ourselves into two.

We believe not in much hue and cry.

We believe in giving it a try!

 

So blame us not if you are a little jealous of our good-natured hill-billiness 😉ImageWe know our responsibilities, we are making our own mistakes knowing that when theparty gets over and shit hits the fan…IF that happens…we’d be the only people to blame and not someone else. We take our risks. We pay for it and reap benefits too.

So instead of thinking of us critically…just sit back and enjoy the fun. And we have this unique age-no-bar policy, where fellow open minded and decent crowd is welcome.

ImageIts all about living your life, earning your bread, collecting pretty memories, meeting the right people, loving the deserving and finding your true light and following your dreams. You got it? Whoa, join the club. You didn’t get it? Relax. Start Over 🙂

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Just smile coz you have one life to live. If you can balance your prioprities…there is no harm in relaxing a bit as long as its not too wrong. The soceity can go to hell. They don’t come to your rescue when you’re broke, pained, hurt, dying or crying. So why care about them when you’re glowing with joy ??Ba7tnhecqaahgpj_large

JUST BE HAPPY. And all else will fall into place!

Until then, Arrividerci :* 

 

Dreams Come True

A world of Dreams … where some come true whilst the others are swept away with the tides of time…

Them coming true depends wholly upon the Dreamer, his/her perseverance and belief in oneself.

Its been proved time and again that Self-Belief can make the impossible possible…

So have that confidence! You were born to achieve and spread the joy !

All the best 🙂

Tips To Deep Sleep

The iSleep app is a solution to many of those light sleepers who wake up to do much as a cushion falling off the bed.
Sleep, especially deep sleep is essential like hell…. Only then your clock will run efficiently throughout the day ! Tips to proper sleeping : 🛀📻🌃🌙💤✨
1. Have a warm bath …. Relaxes your nerves
2. Avoid use of gadgets, TV etc:-
3. Use dim lighting , read good books beside a bed lamp.
4. Drink warm milk
5. Download the iSleep or Deep Sleep etc:- apps … They help 🙂
6. Try SHAVASANA: yoga posture where u lie flat on your back … Your arms and legs spread out slightly and flat. Breathe slowly and deeply …

Theses tips should help you all get that perfect rest 🙂 DO TELL NE IF IT WORKED! Also … Do you have more tips to share? Comment 🙂

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