Demystifying Love.


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The reason why romance & rom-com writers, movie-makers, poets and playwrights are celebrating worldwide all of a sudden is that people nowadays are so easily led away by their desires, inspirations, beliefs and inhibitions that every other person they fancy, they love. And get their heartbroken or someone else’s and give fodder to emotionalists, creative folk, musicians (largest market), writers and media people who are happy to console these lovelorn damsels and miserable Romeos (oh, the cliché) with whatever they can offer. And guess what, they buy it and I blame nobody, here. Because there is nobody to blame as Love is now a general term that can either be a dream, a want, a myth, denial, deception, a pastime, a career, an obsession, a haunting…whatever one’s mind moulds it into.

 

Where are the good old days when I read about love…the tender feeling the boy experienced when shiuli flowers reminded him of his late mother, or the Father took the kids to the fair so the Mother could have her me time on Mother’s Day; when the Mother chooses her child over herself during childbirth, when Elizabeth and Mr Darcy ran miles through fields to see each other and confess their suffering upon staying separated; when Grandmothers pickle mangoes and make sweets awaiting their grandchildren’s visit; when the brother runs up a hill to buy a pair of shoes for his sister… I can probably go on.

But Love, nowadays, is all about pain and pleasure and that saddens the likes of us who want to surround our younger siblings and children with the images of love from Ruskin Bond’s stories and Tagore’s poetry. And not drunk-all-sacrificing loners singing songs to a lover he won’t accept and other stories that twist the very basic essence of the magical emotion (in reference to a recent movie).

Then again there are people who give Love a new meaning… John Legend’s All of Me, BeeGees, Poets of the Fall… so, there is hope.

People need to start thinking of Love as something you feel and express…and not something you desire or expect from another. Being selfless and feeling happy throughout, is loving. Not an ounce of pain, hesitation, conditions, fear or doubt. That’s love. When my father loses his night’s sleep every weekend (that’s the only proper sleep his office allows him) to travel to my hometown to see my sister and Mother… and when my Mother takes the first bus to my College-town to fix my smile… when my sister remembers little details of my endless cander, or my friend immediately responds to my strange tweets with a phone call, when an uncle of mine would miss an entire vacation because there was nobody to leave his pet with… and when I remember my Grandmother’s words, wit and life, fondly…and wish I could go back home to see my Grandpa and play with my cousins… or when I see my old Professor, Nanjudappa Sir in the corridor and it lights up my day, when my Mother climbs a complete hill (Thirumalai, Tirupati) as a token of gratitude to Lord Balaji and for the family’s well-being …that’s love.

It cannot be defined because it has countless definitions and is limitless.

And that is how it’s meant to be.

Do not limit its beauty with ties that are mere phases in your life, a process of self-understanding or a mistake/ misconception.

And count your blessings by valuing who and what you already love. More importantly, who love you. You gravitate people with what you feel with yourself. And true love always keeps you happy and so you bring happier experiences and loving people into your life. Its that simple.

Its alright to experiment, get committed or fancying another. But do not make it the axis of your life and lose direction if it does not work out.

Because, remember, you fancy someone at first sight, but love happens when you have gratifying experiences that define the very course you life takes. And you still maintain stability and everyday you wake up, it’s the first thing you’re grateful for.

 

That is all. Know that gratitude is also a form of expressing love.

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