New Radicals’ Just Cant Get Enough is playing as I type this one, my hair slick with pre-wash oil for nourishment! My room is spic and span (thanks to an hour of relentless cleaning and sweeping), my books and syllabus is sorted to the dot…I’ve also bought new pens and all that exam stuff. It is like an exam ritual for me. New Stuff. Also, its like 3 days before my 19th Birthday and Semester End exams. I dunno if I should be jumping about the place or study myself to Nirvana! Nothing to be excited about because…er…nothing awesome like Disneyland or a surprise party in Maldives awaits me (high hopes much?)
All I can think about is getting myself this short hair-do with Demi Lovato Blue streaks. They’re like so lively. It’s going to blow my peeps away. Like WOW. Haha! I’m pretty determined about it.
And then I have all these writing deadlines. Today, twitter was pretty active ..but that’s like a fluctuating bulb. Got to talk to a lot of writers and discuss procrastination woes and coffee. In other news, I’m really tempted to read Romeo Redeemed . And my left over Hemingway Stockpile.And write my own stories, endlessly. Its always like that…when you’re the least at your leisure, all these spectacular ideas pop up! (One for My Baby – Tony Benett is playing now) You’d be wondering why did I name this post Lisa Simpson Moments ,by now? The State of affairs are such. My mind is aching for some sweet-hot coffee. Lately, everyone is cooping within their rooms, in their groups…busy studying. Some going all the way to Libraries for coven meet up studies while I’m all alone in my room (I prefer it that way but still). And so I hardly get to know what’s up and I kinda feel left behind!
I sometimes have trouble balancing friendships. And I over think stuff…so I feel like I’m not needed in some places and I just avoid hanging out there with them peeps. And suddenly one day sarcasm takes the upper hand. Its all confusing bollocks, like Elizabeth from P&P would say.EVERYBODY go through the the phase of I don’t belong here moments. But don’t get too serious meandering in your confusing thoughts. You’ll get caught up in the doldrums.
I was kinda made like that (Lonestar) . I have so much running in my head that I don’t find the necessity of verbally describing everything…and most topics people discuss around me is so…uh…what can I say…full of shit…that I’d rather not open my mouth. But obligatory moments arise and whatever I say makes no sense and the popularity quotient takes a dip and the weirdo quotient goes a notch higher. And I can’t act like a complete Goth kid (though that helps preserve my sanity in these stormy times) Moreover what I say won’t make any sense to them (vice versa) because we come from different places and experiences, in life. An not everyone is capable of understanding. And we all have pre conceived notions about each other which come in the way of our connecting with each other. I blame no one or nothing. Its just the way we are wired up, I guess?
Some folks in the world are just too materialistic and know shit about life. They believe that they are in the deepest of miseries or evilly brilliant master planners and are scheming something so devious that no one around them will ever know. Or are living in this crystal world where everything is perfume or lip gloss or guys with dimples and good hair. Or Money and bling. Those are spots I get lost in because the conversation bounces right off my head. I’m no grunge or metallica person but that doesn’t mean I’ll voluntarily have myself drowned in a tub of Venetian Strawberry Milk. Gah!
So, I usually find myself scribbling in books, sketching, talking to people with similar frequencies or just talking to my parents about every little detail until they turn delirious. I can’t find better confidants. They know everything. And they’re kinda cool about it. And even if they are not, they don’t act all wham.
Point is, in life we can get lonely when we are stuck in spots where we can’t find frequencies. That’s the time you should shut down the radio and try reaching within yourself to find peace, love, creativity, support or whatever that is you’re looking for. Never get dampened if you can’t be what the world wants you to be. Don’t give a damn. They probably don’t even know half the awesomeness you harbor within your head nor so they need to discover it. Peace out and let the world be.
You have so much to explore, you can’t waste a breath where its unnecessary.
Colors of the skies change every hour. Your time will come. And we’ll rock together then! And there is always someone around the corner to make your life a better place to live. Nothing is bad as it seems. Solitude is the best thing to happen to you if what you need is closure, calm and self-reflection. Its like auto-tuning so chill out. Everything’s okay. I play Lenka every time I need a little sunshine…and sometimes I need you. Keep giving me hope for a better day. Keep giving me love to find a way!