Nincompoop Alert!


I’m sure you’ve seen the red color ‘L’ boards or signs on some cars. I don’t know if its a special feature restricted only to India or whether other countries also follow such stuff.

The instant reaction of any driver/rider as soon as they catch sight of the vehicle is either staying clear of them or deriving pleasure by scaring the shit out of them. This ‘L’ actually alerts the others that this person is a Loser. Kidding, my bad. It means : this driver is Learning how to to drive and hence please be patient and don’t stab them outta road rage. if they take too much time at a U-Turn, blocking two whole lanes of traffic. Pretty Please.

I have no problems with these ‘L’ board people, really. Its the others that get on my nerve. I’ve reserved a special category for such people in my head and they should put : ‘ND : Nincompoop Driving. Yes.

Why so?

Well, because they clearly lack road sense. Think of themselves as the rulers of the road. Have no clue about lane systems, over-taking rules, speed limits, etc. And OH God…some of these freaks even have ‘Mummy Gift’, ‘Brother Money’ and other sheez written on their bumpers and mud-guards. When I see a flashy fluorescent bike, I know its an ND and I stay as far as possible. 

Now coming to TRAFFIC. Its the super bumper-to-bumper traffic, where-in your bike is almost begging you to switch it off because its getting overheated but you can’t oblige because you may have to move any second. The frustration that I feel then is murderous. And finally when the green light showers mercy upon us, there are all these brilliant people who wanna cross roads just then. I never mind the old folk. Sometimes I help them out, too. But then there are these crazy people who just force themselves on the road. You honk, dip your head-lights, shout, anything…but they WILL cross the road and you will just have to wait for them.

Its the festive season right now. Well, its always festive season out here, actually. There is the Ramzan and Aadi season going on. So, the other day, when Mum and I were riding back home, we got stuck in a 1-hour traffic and it wasn’t even rush hour! I’d lost my sense…my hands ached from balancing the vehicle and holding onto the brakes for so long. Not to mention the exhausts, heat, suffocation and honks…as though honking will help the traffic clear out. The joke’s on you, Mr Honker. On reaching the point where the traffic was almost out of control, we discovered some procession was going on and hence, the whole block!

Anyway, when I reached home FINALLY, I wished to drown myself in a bathtub and I’m not even exaggerating.

So there are a lot of people who like doing stunts on the main road. I appreciate your talents, okay? But there is a certain time and place to showcase all that. Doing gimmicks on the main road where amateur riders, elderly people, people with slow reflexes, etc…are driving or riding, is dangerous. Your silencer-less bikes whizzing by all of a sudden can actually shock an elder person out of their senses. And its not their fault. You’re out of your senses. First timers are already nervous and then you ride zig-zag almost brushing past them…you think they’ll be comfortable driving like that? Go to all your circus tricks and stunts on beach roads early in the morning where you’re not harming anybody.

Road sense is very important especially now…when every family owns an automobile, autos rule the place, kids have started biking and nincompoops roam recklessly. So just be careful on the roads, next time.

Watch out for yourself 🙂 Drive safe and think of others. et elder people pass…help them if they find themselves in a situation. Help kids cross the roads by waiting. Don’t jump he headlights. Stay cool. And do not hand your little ones, even if they are fifteen, your vehicle keys. They are naive and you know it. They’re not road ready. Do this favor to yourself.

Arrividerci 🙂

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