Pretty much everyone knows what DOWRY really is… its a (crazy) custom where in the Groom’s family DEMANDS certain riches like jewels, money, automobiles, houses, land, etc:- from the Bride’s family… as a sign of prosperity (Bullshit!) …. more likely, SERVICE CHARGES taken by the Groom to look after his wife for the next how many ever years… though the poor Bride will be treated as no more than a servant… doing all the house-work, raising a family and acting according to Her husband’s whims and fancies.
I do not approach this topic as a feminist… I’m not one…I’m more pro towards a proper society.
But the true fact is, that not all families treat their brides (daughter-in-law) as a daughter or Ghar Ki Lakshmi (Goddess Of Wealth and Prosperity) …they are unpaid servants literally… from cooking for a Joint Family of perhaps ten to maintaining the house… house-keeping, raising a family… at least three children… preferably a Boy (another social inequality issue)…looking after her husband and bearing any domestic abuse that he might take part in, AGAINST her…
Some families are amazing… they look after their bride like their own and that’s perfect… both in Rural and Urban families. And that’s the brighter issue. The lady is allowed to pursue higher education, go to a job, hang out, raise her kids according to her norms…a LOVING family.
But we look at the darker side today, where in, SHOCKING things happen….
Women are burned alive! And that’s not even a myth… it began from Sati… a practice where in widows were burned along with the carcass of their dead husband in the funeral pyre! And nowadays (mostly in rural areas) it happens as a form of punishment.
Of course, a lot of reforms, government intervention and an aware society … are improving matters.
But DOWRY still is prevalent in more families than we can count. And its wrong.
At a party I went to, I asked a woman about the dowry she took from her Bahu’s Family…
The lady (mother-in-law) gaily says, ‘Its the charge we take to look after our Bindni (daughter-in-law). Its pride and honor… you should not question this, girl. ‘
So can I ask something?
‘What is the price you pay for the three grand children she gave birth to? And all the years of domestic service and office salary she splurged on you? ‘
The lady was gobsmacked… gave me a ‘You’re a complete ghat (fool)‘ look and hid away.
Wonder what goes around in their head when they give such lousy replies to such hard-hitting questions.
But that is the reality. And it needs to change, RAPIDLY!
Or all these desi Indian sons will be bachelors for the rest of their puny lives!
Open your EYES! See clearly… BE FAIR !